And then she said.....

And then she said….

By JBlondin

 

 

“Get your ass out of bed!” Deb yelled as she pulled the sheets off me, completely off the bed in one single jerk.
 

          “We don't have time this morning for any games.” she said turning around and dropping the sheets on the floor then heading into the bathroom. The cold morning air hit me and in a second changed my starting out happy mood to one of damn its cold in here. I had tried to convince her that maybe we could spend just a little more time in bed on this Monday morning but that did not work so well. My ardor as well as everything else disappeared in the blast of cold air.

Getting showered and dress is its usual chaotic mess as it is every day. We have a very small place with a very small bathroom so we are always bumping into each other, sometimes on purpose and sometimes with results that makes us nearly late. We reached the front door at about the same time. Putting my hand out to stop her I said, “Allow me.” And with a flourish, a bow and overdone theatrics I open the door. We both stand there and stare at what use to be our front steps and yard.

          There is nothing there and I mean nothing. No concrete steps down to the concrete walkway; no grass on either side of the narrow yard between the neighbor’s fences and no fences, no street where our car was parked, no car, not a damn thing.
          It's not dark nor light; it just was. Beyond our door was nothing. I turned and looked at Deb, “What the fuck?” I said in a hushed tone. She was still staring wide eyed out the door. Our happy morning has just turned weird.
          “Shut the door!” she said hurriedly, “Shut the damn door!” Pulling at my sleeve she stepped back. I did as she asked talking one last quick glance out at nothing before closing and locking the dead bolt.
          “What the hell is that?” I said indicating the outside with my thumb over my shoulder. “Where’s everything?’’
          Deb turned quickly and ran down the short hall that connected the front of the house to the back then she pulled open the back door and gasped.

“There is nothing out here either.” She said a bit louder than necessary. I am standing right beside her also looking out the door into nothing. Turning sideways I gently I push past her and holding my breath as I stick my head out so that I can see past the edge of the wall. Looking left and then right there is nothing to see. Taking a tentative breath the air is somewhat cool. There’s no air moving. Looking down the side of the house even the flowerbeds are gone. Nothing stops at the house. I can see the house as I look but where the house ends nothing starts.

          “OK let’s go upstairs and see what’s outside the windows. Maybe this is just along the ground level and down here we can’t see above it.” I suggest. Turning we nearly run up the carpeted stairs and turn right into our bedroom. We both stop at the shaded window, standing stock-still. Neither of us wanting to pull up the blinds and see what’s out there. Slowly I reach out and grasp the cords pulling up the shade. The same nothing is outside the window. Looking down I see the edge of the windowsill but nothing beyond that.
          Then it blinks, the nothing blinks and for an instant we both can see everything like normal outside. The grass, the sidewalk, and the car all as it should be. Sunshine is blinding as it blinks through the window replacing the uniform white for an instant. Everything outside is like a snapshot and then it’s gone again, nothing is back.
          Both Deb and I step back with an intake of breath. Deb grabs me and scoots behind me wrapping her arms around my middle bury her face in my back. I can feel her voice better than I hear her.
          “What?” I say gently removing her hands from my middle and turning around. She grabs me again and buries her face in my chest.
          “What the hell is going on?” is her muffled question. “I have no idea.” I reply looking over my shoulder towards the still uncovered window at nothing that is still there.

“This is like something out of some weird movie.” I tell her as I kiss her head. “Let’s go back down.” Taking her hand I lead us back down to the living room.

 

Back in the living room I'm staring out the window at nothing and Debbie is sitting on the couch a blanket pulled up to her chin her knees drawn up. She is watching me as I pace back and forth.

          “We have seen two blinks now and each time there is something a bit different did you notice that?” I ask. Saying nothing but shaking her head no she looks to the window again. Moving back to the window I point outside.
          “Each time that I saw the blink I have a feeling that there is something different but …..” The nothing blinks again and there is the sidewalk and the grass and the car, then nothing.
          “Deb I got it, did you see that?” Spinning around I ask again, “Did you?” She has a confused look on her face, as she says, “No I was looking at you and then the blink. It happens so fast that I did not get a chance to look out this time. What did you see, what was different?”

“The car …. the car was different. The driver’s door was open and I was sitting in the driver’s seat leaning out to grab the handle as if I was going to close it.” I turn back toward Deb and in the reflection of the mirror over the couch I see the blink again. This time I was standing beside the car and Deb was seated in the driver’s seat.

The blinks are happening about every minute or so. There’re like a moment in time frozen on film and then projected on nothing outside of the house for us to see, projected on the nothing that is the outside.

“Debbie” I say as I move to the side of the living room window not taking my eyes off the outside. “I am going to watch from here. You go to the back and look out the kitchen window. When the blink comes just look, don’t try to see anything or fixate on anything, and just take in the whole picture.” As I turn to look at her nothing blinks again but this time I miss it. I am not in position to see out the window or in the mirror’s reflection.

“Damn it I missed it.” As I look back to the window I hear Deb get up off the couch and move to the rear of the house. “Did you see anything?” I ask her. She shakes her head no.

“Are you ready?” I shout out not looking anywhere but the window at nothing there. “I’m ready,” she says. 

We wait. What's going on here I’m thinking. Shifting from one foot to the other I don’t dare take my eyes off the window for fear of missing another blink.

For the next fifteen minutes we watch and each time the nothing blinks we tell each other what we see and each time what each of us sees is the same. After the third blink that we saw together Deb grabbed the shopping list off the refrigerator and started taking notes. I don’t know why I did not think of that, nine blinks later Deb comes back into the living room to stand beside me at the window.

“Every time there is a blink it is the same here as well as the back of the house” she says consulting her notes. “Every blink shows the same scene with a slight variation. You, me and the car are in each. The differences seem to be where we are in each one. Let’s see” she says laying her notes on the window ledge. Blink

“What was in that one?” she asks sliding her notes to one side and getting a clean sheet of grocery list page.

Rubbing my eyes on the back of my knuckles I report. “Everything this time was the same as it has been except something odd. OK let me back up…” I start again, “I was in the driver’s seat, you were the passenger, doors closed. I was holding the wheel like I was driving. The sidewalk and grass was replaced with a different sidewalk, one that ran alongside the car…… shit, we were driving this time not sitting.” Closing my eyes I’m trying to review the scene.

“OK the car looked the same but the back ground was blurred…wait a second… got it.. We were moving so everything behind the car was a blur. Sidewalk ran parallel with the car this time instead of the one out front that goes from the front door to the car park.”

“What else?” she prompts. “Close your eyes again and look at everything. We’ve got about forty seconds before the next one.” I close my eyes and start at the beginning looking for something different, something significant slowly going through each picture as it was presented. She is really getting into this now.

“Nothing honey, I got nothing else.” I say with a sigh, shaking my head. Going over her notes again Deb starts reading off the blinks as she's recorded them.

“They started off with just the car sitting at the end of the sidewalk. That was all the same but the difference was where we were in each blink. Each time we were in a different place or doing something different.” She stops and stares out the window waiting.

Blink.

 We both started talking at once. Glancing over to her she is bent over her notes furiously writing on the next page. Without looking up she starts telling me what she saw.

“This is what I saw. First the car was moving again as you said it was. Next thing is that I was driving and you were the passenger. I also saw that the headlights were on……”

“OH FUCK” I shout interrupting her. “Lights… the brake lights were on in the one before, the goddamn brake lights were on! Shit I missed that..” Turning from the window to quickly look at Debbie, she was smiling and adding a note to the previous page.

“Alright what else?” she says pencil hovering over the page. “In which one, this one or the last one?” “This one” she says her pencil moving back over the new page.

“Tell me what you saw that I may have missed.” She says.

“I saw you driving and I saw the headlights. I didn’t think about the brake lights until you mentioned the headlights.” I say. “I was in the passenger seat as you said but I was leaning forward with my head turned to you, mouth open like I was saying something out loud.” Looking back out the window I go over the picture in my mind’s eye. “You were driving, I was saying something to you, and headlights were on, brake lights off. Ah….Nothing else different.”

“Whatcha got?” I ask. She tells me that she has the same information I gave her, she has nothing else to add. We both turn back to the window. After a few moments I quietly tell her what I have been thinking.

“Deb, honey, I am going to go open the door. I want to be able to look at a wider picture. I am going to lean our like I did in the beginning, just to see what I can see. OK?” I can’t look at her. I don’t want to see the look on her face.

There is a tone of fear as she says, “Are you sure that is a good idea?” Glancing in her direction the fear in her voice is reflected all over her face.

“I did it before without a problem and maybe I will be able to see something that we can’t see from here.” Looking back to the window, “I won’t go until after the next…” nothing blinks.

 This time we see the car and the street but this time I am again driving. This time Deb has both hands on the dashboard arms straight out as if she is bracing. I am leaning to the left with both hands high on the steering wheel. The front tires are somewhat obscured but something but neither of us can tell what it is.

Deb quickly writes down what we see as I move to the door. Gripping the knob in my right hand with my left hand palm down on the face of the door, I slowly turn the knob, and when it clicks I pull it open a little at a time. My right pulling and the left pushing back as if one hand was attempting to keep the other from opening the door; when it is about half way open I look towards my lovely wife wink and pull the door open the rest of the way.

It is the same as it was before. Nothing stops at the edge of the threshold. I reach out my hand slowly and move past the edge of the door frame into nothing. I can still see my hand although the nothing grips it like water nothing tightly between my fingers. I cannot feel anything. The sensation is as if I had reached out at any other time in my life, there is no feeling of nothing.

Looking back towards Deb I smile shaking my head. Waving my hand around there’s no sensations, no feeling of air moving across my skin, there is… well….nothing.

“I don’t feel anything,” I say withdrawing my hand. Placing my hands on both sides of the door and leaning forward I slowly push my head out. Taking a tentative breath I draw in air. Without pulling back I report. “I can breathe just fine except there is not smell, no taste to the air. It’s air but that’s it. How much time we got left ya think?” “Probably just a few seconds” she replied. No sooner than she spoke then nothing blinked again.

I didn’t get to see much because I blinked at the same time. I got a fleeting image but couldn’t make out what anything was, nothing was back and I missed the blink.

“I missed it” I say to her, “What did you see?” I can hear her writing as she speaks.

“The car again, I was driving. I couldn’t see you but somehow I know you were in there. I know why we could not see the tires last time.”

Leaning back in both hands still on the door frame and look at her for a moment I ask,

“Why?” then I lean back out. “Smoke…. blue smoke. I think that the front tires were locked, the brakes I mean. I think that we were trying to stop, hard.”

“Trying to stop? I say over my shoulder not taking my eyes off nothing. I am looking to the left side of the house, out into nothing. Left is the direction that the car seems to be heading in the blinks. I am hoping that by looking left I will be able to see what is in front of the car.

“You watch” Deb says, “I am going to go through my notes, there seems to be a pattern here or at least if feels like there is. I think that we’re missing something.”

Watching left and trying very hard not to blink I wait. The blink comes and goes like before and as before the after images linger. It seems that I’m getting better at recalling what I see. I can mentally walk through the blink and get details that at first I couldn’t get.

“What did you see?” Deb asks.

“Well firstly there is nothing in front of us or the car for that matter. It seems that what we see is just around the car. Directly ahead there is nothing just like behind it. It seems that the only background that we can see is directly behind the car as we look at it as well as this side. Anything on the passengers’ side close to the car is the only other thing in the picture so to speak.” Closing my eyes I go through the blink narrating aloud to Deb.

“This time I was driving. I could see you but not much of you. I was kind of leaning forward but it looked awkward.

“What does that mean, awkward?” Deb interrupted me.

“The position that I was in did not seem natural. Wait a minute. I am looking at the car again. The front of the car is down more than the back. Deb you said earlier that you saw smoke from the front tires right?”

“Yeah, one or two blinks ago.” She said.

“OK there was no smoke this time. Who was driving when you noted the smoke?”

“I was” I can hear the rustle of papers as she looks at the notes. “Two blinks ago I was driving and we were stopping and there was smoke from the front tires.” Leaning back into the house enough so that I can see Deb I say without turning my head.

“Honey this time I was driving and I think we were stopping again but the tires weren’t smoking. What do you think is going on?”
 

I can see her in my peripheral vision she is leaning forward looking out the window her legs resting against the bay windows large sill. In front of her are all the shopping list pages laid out in what I assume is the order in which she has written them. She is holding the pad and her pencil ready to write again. The nothing turns to a picture again. We both are looking and we both see what this time is there.

“Oh shit!” I say. I hear Deb’s intake of breath.

“You saw right? You saw what I just saw Deb?”

“If you saw the front of our car caved in and part of another car stuck in it then yes I saw it.” She responds with a hushed voice. “Johnny I think I know what’s going on, I don’t understand it yet but I think I have an idea.”

“What?” I ask. If she has any inkling as to what the hell is going on then I want to know because I sure as hell don’t.

“You watch while I re-read my notes.”

“OK” I say as I step back into the house. Looking over Deb is moving the notes into a line along the edge of the sill. As she reads she is moving some pages up and others down forming two parallel lines from left to right. She is tapping on a page as she reads.

“Alright….” She starts and then stops. Continuing to read she starts again. “You were driving here….. and …..” Moving another page she says, “I was driving here.” Another page moved up and the following page slid into that one’s place. “Ah… wait.” She is not talking to me but to the pages as she works with them. Deb has always loved word puzzles and games. I think that this has become one of her games.

 I look back out the door at nothing and wait. Deb’s muttering has moved to the background of my mind. I am trying to figure what is going on. The morning started out nicely and about normal. Everything we did was about the same as every day with a few exceptions. This all started when I opened the door or maybe before that. The window shade was drawn this morning so nothing could have been outside for a …..”

“Johnny….Johnny!” Deb’s shout brings me back to the awful present.

“Yeah.”

“I have re-read and re-read these notes.” Nothing turns to color and light but just for the second. The images are burnt in my mind. I’m in the driver’s seat again but I am turned towards Deb. The car is not moving and the driver’s door it open. I cannot see my face but I can see the panic look on hers. My right hand is up on her shoulder. “Did you see anything else?” I ask her after relating what I saw. “No” she says scribbling on her note pad, tearing it off and adding it to the top row of notes.

“What are you thinking?” I ask her. “What does your puzzle playing mind tell you is happening?”

“I think,” she says pointing to her notes, “that what we are seeing are glimpse of the future.” I start to interrupt but she holds up her hand, palm out in that old talk to the hand gesture.

“Wait.. let me finish before you ask anything. Each blink that we see are either related to you or to me. We’re together but each image we see follows the one before except it is focused on you or on me every other time, like each blink is the next picture in the story. You then me then you again but each moving along the timeline.”

Picking up a note she points at it. “Here’s an example. In this blink you were driving and we were what looked like we were moving along but stopping. Then when I was driving the wheel was obscured by blue smoke from what we both think was the tires burning from a hard stop.” She picks up another page and shakes it gently.

“Then you and then I am driving. Each time it seems that you are stopping but when we get near the end it’s like I have hit something, a car.” Nothing blinks and although we are talking and we’re also looking. We have become use to the rhythm of nothing’s blinks and we are no longer missing the blinked scenes.

This time Deb is behind the wheel again but in this blink she is plastered against the air bag. I cannot see me in the picture.  There are pieces of metal and steam frozen in midair as the blink returns to nothing. The front end of a red car is crumpled into the front of ours. We cannot see anything back behind the hood of it. Our cars rear wheels are up in the air as the nose is dived downward with the force of the collision.

We are both silent. I can hear Deb breathing heavily as she hurriedly writes on the quickly diminishing pad of paper. I step back into the living room and move to her. She is trying hard not to start crying.

“Oh my God” I whisper to her as I reach out. “I think you might be right. Now all we have to do is to figure out the sequence and ….. and then… and then what?”

She looks towards me with tears in her eyes. I wrap my arms around her as a sob escapes her.

“We’re in a wreck.” She says almost under her breath. “I hit someone.”

“Maybe they hit us honey, maybe it is not your fault.” I say as I try to sooth her. “Maybe it is not what we see.” I hold her and we don’t say anything for a few moments then as one turn towards the window as nothing blinks again.

            “You were driving” is all she says. Looking at the images burnt into my brain I see that she is right. As I review the picture Deb seems to be moving from the passenger’s side to the driver’s side around the front of the car, striding really. I am standing beside the front fender of our car. There is a red car stopped just feet from our front bumper.

            “I got it Johnny; I think I know what’s going on.” She adds the last blinks notes to the long line that now threatens to overrun the windowsill. With a sweeping motion she starts telling me. Pointing down to the left she starts on the top row.

            “In this entire row you are driving and in all of this row I am” pointing to the second row. “As each scene plays out we move further along the line towards that end” again point but this time all the way to the right. “At that point where we are now you have stopped the car but I have not. You have somehow managed to not hit the red car but I plowed into it head on.”

            She stops as we once again shift our focus to nothing but nothing remains. No blink. No pictures for us to see, nothing tells us nothing more. Quietly we stand for a minute, two minutes but nothing remains nothing.

            “Is it over?” I ask. “Deb is it over you think?” I look towards her but she is not answering. She has a faraway looking in her eyes, a look I know very well. She is in deep thought and the rest of the world is now shut out. All I can do at this point is wait for her return. After a few minutes she turns to me.

            “Ok I think what we have been seeing is pictures, mere glimpse of the future or of two futures, yours and mine. I think in one we do something different that changes the outcome, what I don’t know but something.”

            “I see that.” I say “but what do we do with it not to mention why we are getting it.” Stepping back over to the door I start to pull it shut when Deb says, “wait, leave it open.”

            She is back over her notes again picking up one, reading and then putting it back down. She gets to the end and starts again picking up different ones than the first go around.

            “If you are right and I think that you are Debbie what are we supposed to do with it, what are we to do? There’s nothing outside just blank nothing.”

            “Johnny I don’t know but I feel like I should know. Give me a minute.” She continues to scan the notes laid out in front of her. She picks up one and then another stacking them in her left hand. Once she reaches the end she turns and says. “I do not know how or what but I do know that the change happens here. In all the early blinks we are both doing almost exactly the same.” She plucks out one note from the top of the pile.

            “This one is the changing point. It’s when you go to the passenger’s side and I drive, this is where the lines move apart.” 

            “So what do we do with it?” I ask throwing up my hands. Pointing again outside, “there is nothing out there.” I stare at her for what seems like minutes and then it hits me.

            “Deb, this is gonna sound crazy but what if we start over? Everything you said all starts from when I open the door this morning so what if we shut the door, walk up stairs and then come back down? What if I open the door again and see if our world is back or nothing is?”

            We stare at each other for a few seconds and then she nods gripping the wad of notes she moving towards the stairway with me tight on her heels pushing the door closed as we pass. We walk up to the top, peek into the bedroom and out the window to see nothing.

“Ready?” I ask as we turn around.

            “Yeah” she answers and we start down me in the lead just as it was this morning.

 We get to the bottom of the stairs and turn towards the door. Again I hold up my hand and again I pretend that we are on stage. With a sweeping gesture I say, “Allow me” as I open the door.

Nothing is gone and our world is back. We stand there not moving simply afraid to move. Slipping my hand in hers I step out onto the front step of our home with Deb holding tightly to me. Moving down the sidewalk and to the car we are like two timid cats waiting for a sound or something to send us running back into the house.

Everything is normal, the sounds and the smells are as they should be. I touch the car and it feels like the car. Turning to Deb I say, “How about I drive?” releasing her I reach down and open the door sliding in. Deb gets into the other side and we just sit there looking around.

“What do ya think?” I ask her without turning.

“I don’t know but I think we have been given another chance for some reason. For some reason we were shown what would happen in the next little while if I drove today.” We look at each other. “I have no idea why or who but I know we are going to do it right and make it.” She smiles, reaches out, and pats my arm.

“Are you ready?” I ask as I start the car.

“Yes” she says fastening her seatbelt, “Let’s go.”

 And then she said

Blondin
9/15

 

 

 

 

 

Empathy

Empathy

JMBlondin

8/25/2015

 

                                                                   I’m bored. I have been walking around this mall now for a couple hours. Not looking for anything particular but just wondering around, waiting. It’s very hot outside but in here it’s nice and cool. I am not the only one taking advantage of the air conditioning; they’re many people that seem to be just ambling around, not really shopping, and probably just trying to stay cool.

This mall is called The Wagon Wheel and is laid out like its namesake with the central food court in the hub and the mall shops on each side of the five spokes leading out. Between the spokes are outdoor areas with tables and chairs spaced among the palm trees and low bushes. There are doors leading out at several locations along each spoke. On each door is a small sign declaring that smoking is permitted and “Please watch your children.” Here and there are fountains or a pool holding koi carp. Looking out at one point I see a small toddler standing on the edge of one of the pools pointing down at the fish, his mother standing very close to him.

Circling around the end is the ‘wheel ‘where small shops and specialty stores are located and allowing for access to the other spokes in the wheel. Pedestrians, mall walkers, and shoppers are segregated by a center area in each spoke consisting of chairs and planters. These keep people that are moving one direction to each side of the spoke. In some places there are coin-operated machines for drinks and snacks located in the center areas. There are signs at the beginning of each leg of the wheel with store locations and a bright red “YOU ARE HERE” with an “X”.

              From time to time I get a strong emotion from someone, anger, great sadness, worry. Like a strong smell of something that blows past. You cannot always tell where it comes from but you can still get it just for a second and then it’s gone. I have had this ability if you will, since I was a small boy. There was a time that I would not go into crowds of people due to the overwhelming wash of emotions especially during the holidays. As I got older I learned to filter it out for the most part although sometime someone bleeds through.

              Today I am waiting.

 I had just stepped back from the crowd of people flowing along the spoke past me. The moving people are like ripples in fast running stream. The bright overhead lights reflecting from necklaces or earrings like those that sunlight does on a ripple. No one stands out as they move past intent on their own mission. Sometimes a bright color passes, as a maple leaf would look like floating past in the fall.

Placing my back to the wall with arms crossed I just watched as people flowed by. In the middle the passageway is the dividing line of chairs arranged beside planters. In this spoke there are small advertising signs set up like billboards along the highway. Like a highway, people on this side moving from left to right and on the other right to left. Directly in front of me is a very large planter with a beautiful tree in it, above it is a very large section of glass where the sun can be seen.

              I turned to look into the shop behind me. Through the glass there are racks of old books, some open, and some closed. Little title cards with colored leaves in the corners tell the name and author of the tome that is for sale sits in front of each book. Some of the books were tightly wrapped in plastic to protect them. The little cards in front of these proclaiming they were written in 1890’s and whom by. On these cards instead of a price it is written INQUIRE WITHIN.  

              Leaning forward attempting to read the title on a particularly beautifully covered book I am hit with the very strong emotional wash of great loss and anguish. It hits so hard that for a moment I cannot see for the tears that are filling my eyes, my heart is hurting. This is not my emotion I’m not harboring any feeling of loss nor have I lost anything, this is what I have waited for.

*****

Spinning around he scans the moving people trying to identify the source of the pain but no one is stopping, no one stands out from the others. Stepping to the right to change the angle of view he scans again and there on the other side stands a woman who seems to be a rock in the flow. She is not moving and people are moving around her, her pain is a bubble that they are unknowingly repelled by. No one is bumping her or even getting close to her, her emotional outburst is like a buffer around her and to him she is in stark focus where all the others are now a moving blur.              

              Stepping into the flow of people it parts for him. He is not looking around nor trying to avoid anyone, they’re unconsciously avoiding him. He moves straight to the center and steps around a small-unoccupied chair where he stops. The woman is standing facing the flow as it moves past her; she somehow turned around and is now facing the wrong way, into the flow of people. She is wearing an ankle length dark blue and black flowered dress cinched at the waist with a wide black belt and a silver buckle, her flat shoes are black. Head bowed her long hair is hanging straight down and covering her shoulders and most of her face.

              She is clutching a cell phone in her right hand knuckles white, the screen still lit, it seems that she did not hang up the call, and there is a picture on the screen. Her left hand is covering her mouth. Her huge light blue eyes are filled with tears that are dripping down to the floor in bright silvery drops like water from a dripping faucet.

              He steps closer and again stops facing her now. He does not know her but her pain is washing off her like a flood. He still has no idea why he is drawn to her, he never knows. He knows that he must do something, is driven to do something. She looks up to see him standing there. Opening her mouth to speak a sob escapes instead. 

              He says only loud enough for her to hear over the background music and the murmur of voices.
             “I can help you; let me take some of your pain.” With that he opens his arms and without hesitation she brings her arms up to her chest and she steps into his embrace. A soft crack sounds as the phone hits the floor the noise lost in din of the crowd. As he closes his arms around her into a tight hug she breaks into racking sobs. Around them the river of people continues to pass seemingly not to notice them.
              “Let it go” he whispers through her hair which now covers her face. Her sobbing is shaking her small body so hard that it is threading to break his grip on her.
              “Let it go,” he says again. “Let me take some of this pain.”
              She sags into him deeper they now look like one person. He does not loosen his hug as her pain washes into him. He does not know why she is torn so, cannot know the reason but it does not matter. For some reason he is compelled to help her. Then as every other time the flashes of memory start.

              *****

“Lindsey”, she hears her mom yell, “Lindsey it’s time to come in.” She is eight years old and has been playing with her doll in the yard since dinner.

“OK mom”, she shouts back picking up her favorite doll and runs for the house. Her mom greets her at the door and tells her that it is time to get cleaned up for bed.
“Yes mom” she says setting the doll on the edge of the table and heads up stairs to take a bath. Pausing in the upstairs hallway at the top of the stairs she looks at the picture that is sitting on the table near the head of the stairs. As she has done every night for the last three years she pauses to look into the eyes of the man pictured there. Reaching out she touches the edge of the frame and says, “Hi Daddy,” then proceeds to her room to get undressed and ready to take a bath.
Slipping out of her knee length cream colored dress and white panties she turns and looks to the reflection in the mirror hung on the back of her door. She pulls at her tangled hair and removes a leaf stuck there. Turning a little left then right she looks at herself.
              “One day I will be as pretty as mom” she says aloud, turns and skips into the single bathroom that’s between her room and her mom’s, the one that her mom and dad used before daddy went to heaven.

*****

              “Happy Birthday!” Katelyn, Sara and Jill are all clapping as Lindsey bends and pretends to blow out the four unlit candles on the little cake they surprised her with.

              “Make a wish,” Jill the redhead in the middle says throwing her arms around the necks of the other two girls.
              “Yeah, make a wish!” all three say in unison then break into giggles. Her best friends surprised her with cake in the middle of the school lunchroom. Straightening up she looks around. No one is paying any attention to them as usual. Katelyn leans over and plops a wet noisy kiss on Lindsey’s cheek saying,
              “It’s not every day you have your thirteenth birthday.” All the girls sit down and Sara produces a small plastic knife and four forks from her purse. Pulling extra plates from under the cake she proceeds to cut the cake into four equal portions and placing each on a plate sliding them in front of each girl. Each slice has a candle stuck in it. Laughing at each other they each poise their forks above the slices and Lindsey says,

              “On the count of three”, she looks at each girl as she counts,”ONE…TWO…THREE!” Each girl plunges their forks into the cake taking a large bite and as one they stick the cake into their mouths trying not to spit any out as they all laugh.

             Later that night Lindsey hugs her mom and thanks her for the birthday present telling her,
              “I love it mom and thank you.” She clutches the large white teddy bear to her chest. “I am going to go up and get a shower then go to bed. I am really tired after baseball practice today. “
            Slowly she climbs the stairs as she has done so many nights before and again she stops to look at the picture. She reaches out and touches the side of the frame sliding her finger up and down as she speaks.
              “Hey Daddy, I’m thirteen today. The girls and I had a little birthday cake at lunch today and mom and I had a nice night tonight. I miss you!” She starts to turn away but stops, reaching back out to the picture picking it up.

              “I love you Daddy.” She says then places the picture back on the table, adjusts it back to the correct position and turns back to her room placing the new bear on the bed.

              Standing in her room she slides out of her jeans and underwear, pulls off the tee shirt and bra tossing them all to the chair beside the bed. She turns around and adjusts the door so that she can see herself in the mirror. Brushing her long dark hair back she looks at herself.
              “I’m almost as beautiful as mom,” she says cupping her small breast then turning goes through the door and into the bathroom.

*****

              “Hello. My name is Lindsey and I’m twenty years old.” She slowly looks into the eight faces intently watching her. Eight little girls waiting eagerly for whatever Lindsey has to say.

             “I lost my dad when I was very young and like you I miss him very much.” She is standing in a first grade classroom. This is her mom’s classroom and her mom is standing in the back of the room leaning against the wall smiling watching Lindsey.
              There are eight little girls all sitting in chairs arranged in a semi-circle around in front of Lindsey. These girls were gathered here from other classes because they had all lost their dads recently and were having problems adjusting.

              Lindsey’s mom had asked her one night over dinner, “Honey, would you consider coming in and talking to some of the children, little girls that have lost their dads? I know that you still miss him and I know you talk to him every night. I think that maybe you can help them understand and maybe cope, letting them know that you have learned to cope.”

              Looking from her mom back to the children Lindsey smiles and says,
             “Even though your dad is not here any longer he still loves you.”
               Standing at the top of the stairs that night she picks up the picture. The edges of the frame are tarnished where she has touched it almost every day of the last fifteen years, the glass smuggled from a thousand kisses.
              “Daddy, I talked to a bunch of little girls today in mom’s class. Little girls like me that have lost their dads. I told them all about you and how I try to say something to you every night before I get ready for bed.” She sets the picture back on the little table.
              “I told them that their daddy is watching over them just as you have watched over me.” She kisses her finger and touches the face in the frame then turns and heads into her room.
              Standing naked in front of the mirror, as she has done so many times since she was a little girl, she run her hand down her body saying,
              “I’m as beautiful as mom.” She turns and goes to take a shower.

*****

              “Miss Dunkin” says the woman behind the desk, “I have reviewed your application and would like to inform you that you have been approved for the home loan.” Lindsey sits there without moving for what seems like minutes. She is unable to believe that she has gotten the loan and will be getting the house that she has wanted for years, will finally is able to move her mom out of the care home where she has lived for the last two years.  

              Looking down at the nameplate sitting on the desk reassuring herself of the woman’s name Lindsey says,
              “Oh Mrs. Rymer thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me, I can finally bring my mom home.” Lindsey stands up and then sits down again. She tries to reach over the desk to shake the bank official’s hand and knocks over her nameplate. Lindsey jumps up and reaching out returns the plate to its correct position.
              “Mrs. Rymer, can I give you a hug?”
              “Of course dear, of course,” Mrs. Rymer says stands and moves partly around the desk meeting Lindsey as she steps towards her. They hug and as Lindsey steps back she absently brushes at the shoulder of Mrs. Rymers suit where her tears have left a mark.  
              “Dear child, at twenty-nine you’re doing very well. You have worked hard and now you can accept rewards for all that work.”

              Moving in was a lot of work she thinks as she looked around the living room of her new home. Having finally gotten all of her things in and arranged the way she wanted. Mom will be here tomorrow she thinks. Her room is ready; the house is ready now and I need a shower.

              Lindsey walks from the living room to the small hall leading to the bath and bedrooms. There at the entrance of the hall is a small table with a vase of red and blue plastic flowers. Sitting in front of the vase is an old picture frame, badly in need of replacement and inside it sits a picture of a man that she does not remember but has always loved. She lifts up the picture and turning it around says as she scans the room with it.

              “See dad it’s done. The house is ready and I will bring mom home tomorrow, we’ll be together again.” She turns the picture, kisses it, and places it back on the table. With one last look around the room she heads down to her room.

              Standing nude in front of the mirror that she moved from her mom’s house she slowly turns around looking at herself. I’m as beautiful as mom is she thinks patting her tummy. I had better be more careful about what I eat. Turning to the bathroom she says aloud to the house, mom will be here tomorrow.

              The woman is rocking slowly back and forth as her crying continues. Years of pain are flowing out of her and washing over the man. He does not falter nor does his hug lesson as the images continue to pour out of her along with all the held in pain.

*****

              “Lindsey, Lindsey can you come here please?” Her mother’s soft voice barely heard over the sound of the vacuum cleaner. Lindsey turns off the machine and hurries into her mom’s room.

              “What is it mom?” she says stepping into the room. Her mom is holding out her phone as if it is an insect to be disposed of.

              “Can you show me again how to work this damn thing?” she says shaking the phone like a cat with a mouse. With the patience that’s born out of deep love Lindsey goes over again all the things that can be done with the phone. The last being how to take pictures. She smiles and poses as her mother takes a picture of her then Lindsey instructs her on how to send it. Lindsey holds up her own phone when it chirps and shows her mom the picture that she just sent.

              The cleaning forgotten the two women spend the morning playing with the phones and talking. Gathering up her mom’s coffee cup she starts to leave for the kitchen. Turning around she says,

              “Mom, I am going into the mall today to get some things. Is there anything that you want?” Shaking her head no her mom goes back to playing with the new toy she has finally learned how to use. As Lindsey leaves the room her mom says,

              “I am going to go through the last box there” pointing to the box by the closet door, “and put the remaining stuff away.”
              “OK mom” Lindsey says heading out to the kitchen.

              After a few minutes her crying lessons and she regains some of her composure. Releasing his grip he steps back dropping his arms to his sides. She looks up to him wiping the tears from her eyes.

              “Who are you?” she asks as she again wipes at her eyes with both hands.
              “Why did you do that? How did you do that?” Her big blue still wet eyes wide.
              “You needed some help, you were in pain, and I could help, so I did. Does not matter who I am and the why I cannot explain. I just had to. Do you feel better?”
              “Yes…Yes I do better than I have in many years. I have been sad as long as I can remember. What did you just do?”
              Turning he starts to walk away.
              “Wait,” she says stepping after him and reaching for the back of his shirt.
              “Wait please” she says again. Stopping he again turns towards her.

              “You have carried the pain of the loss of your father most all of your life and everything that you have done or not done is a direct result of that. You have never had a boyfriend for fear that you would lose him like your dad. You have never been close to anyone except your mom and you hold on to her so tightly for the same reason.”

              People are still moving around them as if they were an island alone in the streambed. The voices of the people around are muted and unintelligible to them. No one has bumped them; no one has tried to push between them.

              “What was on the phones screen that pushed you over the edge, what was it that caused you to feel all that pain?” he asks pointing down to the phone at her feet, still lit up even though the screen is shattered.

              “What caused you so much anguish?” Bending at the knees she squats and retrieves the phone from the floor, stands back up looking at the picture distorted by the cracks. She touches the screen for a moment then turns it towards him saying.

              “It’s from mom. I taught her how to use her phone today and to take pictures. She sent me a message that said she had found some old pictures that she wanted to show me. They were forgotten in her bible.”

              He does not look to the picture but continues to look at her face his face showing nothing but calm and reassurance.

              “What caused you to feel so much pain?” he asks again. She turns the phone back so she could see its screen saying.

              “It is a picture of my dad holding me when I was very little, one that I’ve never seen before.” Looking up to him she continues, “When I saw it all the years of missing him came back to me.” Dropping her arm to her side she asks him,

              “What did you do to me?”
              “You will always remember him and you will always miss him. All I did was to take some of the lingering pain away so that you can live your life without that blanket over you, the fear of losing anyone close to you. You can now live without that shadow of fear in losing someone if you get close. That’s all.”

              Turning to leave he says, “Who I am does not matter. You needed help and I could give it. Good bye Lindsey Dunkin, have a great life.” With that he steps into the throng of people as it opens up for him. In an instant he’s gone from sight.

              Lindsey’s phone vibrates and rings. Lifting it she is unable to read any names so she says hello, it’s her mom.

              “No mom, I’m ok really..no I love the picture..yes I want to see it and the others when I get home…No really I’m ok but I have to tell you about something that just happened, something extraordinary.  Really mom I have never felt this good….yes I will be home soon, real soon.  Bye.”
 

*****

              He has been wondering around the park for over an hour now, just walking and waiting for the next call for help that he knows will come soon.

 

JMBlondin

Aug 25, 2015   

             

             

To Many Bears

To Many Bears

By JMBlondin

8/2/2015

(WP) D62-2186, Limian Town. At the governments population meeting today it was announced that the population of Runnland has now at 55,728 people according to the latest governmental count. The minister of the Bureau of Food and Water Supplies (BFAWS) said that there were 3,530 more people than supplies could provide for. There were many different plans put forth to reduce the population or to increase the amount of supplies but there is no real plan yet as to the proper and humane way to reduce the amount of people to an acceptable level.

(WP) D65-2186, Limian Town. As reported on D62 the latest census places the population at 55,728 until this morning. Two were killed in a hover crash near Blondin Park. The local news reported that the two were killed when their hover cars collided then burst into flames. Witnesses at the scene said that the two cars were traveling in opposite directions at high speed when they suddenly crossed the centerline and collided head on. There were no other injuries reported. With these two deaths the current population stands at 55,276.

               In further news- The BFAWS stated today that unless something is done to increase the amount of water and food supplies there might have to be drastic steps taken to prevent countrywide starvation and dehydration.

(WP) D70-2186, Local reports out of Limian Town, Runnland today state that Mrs. Eugene Bearfliter, A628671C, was found dead in her home, Block 9089 Building C-Level17, Unit 81, along with her 9 children ranging from age of 4 through 29. Limian Town officials tell the WP that all the bodies were found in the two main rooms of the home on Street 7241. “There is no obvious cause of death in any of the victims and all are being sent out to the medical examination station,” stated one official.

(WP) D75-2186, Medical Hospital 657 reported today the birth of twins to a yet unidentified woman. Reliable sources tell WP that the woman, 23, was not accompanied by a male and she would not give any information to the medical authorities. As to the question of charges filed for unlicensed births the Medical Information Officer stated, “No comment.”

(WP) D76-2186, Medical Hospital 657 reported today that the twins born yesterday have been removed from the facility. When questioned by the WP MH657 stated that the children and their mother were not accounted for at the 1800 bed check and they have no idea where they are at this time.  The WP will bring you any updates we get.

               In other news 41 people on one of Limian Town’s high speed sidewalks were turned to pulp this afternoon when the moving walk, traveling at 66 units suddenly stopped without warning. Most of the deaths were caused by collisions between people and the buildings around the walk. There were no injuries reported.

(WP) D78-2186, BFAWS members were seen leaving the BFAWS building today as a group. When questioned about any progress in the food and water shortages and plans to correct this problem they all said “No comment.”  The WP has learned that the BFAWS has narrowed the probable route to correct this problem down to two options but we were unable to find out what they were.

               Limian Town, Runnland- Four undocumented children and 6 adults were found sleeping in the woods in Blondin Park last night by the local authorities. The WP has learned that the adults, 4 males, and 2 females were attempting to hide the children in some early 2100’s ground vehicles abandoned in the woods. Authorities stated that the children were hidden in the luggage compartments in the rear of the vehicles and were only found when one child started crying. Inspection of the other vehicles reviled that there were the remains of 3 other children in some of the other vehicles. “We detained and removed 6 other adults from this area 11 days ago,” stated one of the authorities.

(WP) D82-2186, BFAWS released it census figures today. There are 55,225 people currently living in Limian.  They also set forth an order that all persons will be restricted to 4 wet units of water per day per person. That is down from last April when the usage restriction was 5.5 wet units. Non- consumption is not restricted yet. Food shortages thus far are restricted to class A and class D foods. These food classes can be used on days 4 and 7 only.

               Anyone found to be in violation of these orders will be dealt with by the authorities. WP has been directed to inform all that anyone reporting violations of these two orders will be rewarded with one extra half-wet unit of water.

(WP) D106-2186- There have been 986 violations to date of the food and water restrictions. Each case was investigated and the offending parties charged and detained. There was a small demonstration in Blondin Park, today. The authorities from Limian Town told the WP that 27 were arrested and charged with waste of resources. The authorities reported that the 27 members of the small crowd that call themselves The Resource Group threw class A and D foods and splashed water on them prompting the detainment. There were no reported injuries.

               MH657 reported that 164people have died of natural causes in the last 24 hours. There have no births and none are scheduled.

(WP) D113-2186- A passenger hover crashed 4 distance units outside of Limian this afternoon killing all 183 on board, there were no injuries. Officials have not released the cause of the crash.

               There is a meeting scheduled for the BFAWS on 2 day at 1400. The public is not invited. A reported leaked to the WP says that the meeting is to finalize the plans for corrections of the food and water shortages. The WP will report any plans that are made official.

               There is a report filed out from Limian today saying that it is estimated that over 350 people are living in Blondin Park. The Limian authorities report daily sweeps through the park in an attempt to round up anyone living there. “The park is one of the city’s main assets with its abundance of trees and the squirrels. It was even reported last week that a red bird was spotted, said one city official. That report has not been substantiated.

               The WP has check the authorities official reports on the park sweeps but was unable to find where anyone has been detained.

(WP) D115-2185- An undocumented man drove a utility hover into a line of people at the Food Distribution Center 71 today 99 people were killed, there were no injuries. The WP was informed by a source that the man had been living in Blondin Park. “I have seen him come out of the park on different days,” said the source. The WP sent an inquiry to the local authorities in Limian but they have not responded.

               In other news the BFAWS reports that they have been unable to reach an agreement on the food and water issue. At the end of today’s meeting a spokesman stated that, “we will try again tomorrow.” When the WP asked what was the points of disagreement the official said, “No comment, I cannot make any comment on that.”

(WP) D116-2186- There was a violent explosion today in section 11475 which is just outside of downtown Limian, Runnland today. A member of the Civil Utilities, Gas and Power Division was outside of the containment area and told the WP that, “I think that the gas main ruptured under the tenant building. There is nothing left except a hole in the ground.”

               The WP will follow up on this story as details arrive.

Limian Civil counsel announced today that there will be more restrictions on class D foods. “There are only 9.4 million units left and we do not want to run out,” said the official. The WP noted that class D foods were being loaded into the official’s private hover in the spaces between buildings. When the WP asked he told us, “That is being taken back to the distribution center so that all can share.”

(WP) D118, 2186- It was reported by the officials in Limian, Runnland that 1,980 people lost their lives in the explosion in Limian yesterday, there were no injuries. “The whole building disintegrated, “said the official.         “We are investigating but we believe that a gas main under the building exploded and that is what caused the collapse and fire.”

               The WP will bring you further reports as they surface.

               Repairs are finally underway on the high-speed walkway that we reported on Day76. The death toll stands at 49. 8 bodies were found in the wreckage as the walkway was disassembled.

(WP) D119, 2186- Blondin Park in Limian will celebrate its 829 anniversary this week with a daylong celebration. The authorities are planning to highlight the four different species of trees along with the 14 red squirrels that live there. Displays depicting the park throughout the years will be set up along a walkway throughout the park.

               When the WP asked about the people living in the park the city official stated, “We have removed over 841 people living illegally there and it cleaned up. The Park is beautiful now in its natural state. We invite everyone that can to come out and enjoy what this beautiful park has to offer, after all it is the only one we have.”

(WP) D123-2186 BFAWS reported today that water usage would have to be further reduced from 4.4 wet units per person per day to 3.1 wet units.

121 persons were found dead today in Block 689 Building R. Authorities are telling the WP that it is possibly a case of food contamination. Remnants of food packs from Food Distribution Center 71 were found in all 8 of the home units.

 (WP) D127-2186 Just in from Limian Town. A hover bus crashed and exploded today on Street 6 at the junction of Road V. There were 40 killed, there were no injuries. The city is investigating the cause of the crash. BFAWS spokesperson told the WP today that the population growth had slowed and the Food and Water shortages may not be as bad as originally thought. There would be another census in a few days.

 (WP) D128-2186 Just in- there has been a mass shooting at the Food Distribution Center 108 a short time ago. 104 people have been killed. The gunmen entered the center at around 1100 today carrying illegal weapons. These weapons use to be referred to as assault weapons back in 1980-2100 and were responsible for the deaths of many thousands. All weapons have been outlawed since 2150 and it was believed that no weapons existed. The “guns” were left at the scene and the persons responsible have escaped. Witnesses state that it appeared that the vehicle was a police hover with the placards removed.

……. A report just in states that the weapons were removed from the museum on Z1 Street, city officials are investigating. One official said, “We know that the persons responsible were not members of the local police department.”  When the WP asked how he was so sure his response was, “No comment.” All of the wounded were transported to Medical Hospital 657, there were no survivors or other injuries.

(WP) D62-2186 Reports that the concerns with over population with its food and water shortages may have been more over reaction than fact. The last census shows that the current population is 55,551. The report issued today states, The current population shows that there is little concern that we will run out of food or water in the foreseeable future. The original census may have been in error. The BFAWS has formed a committee to investigate the counting process.

              

This story is prompted by a radio report- followed two days later by front-page headlines in the newspaper stating that there were now an estimated 3000 bears in Florida. The state felt that interaction between bears and people were becoming more frequent so the solution was to issue hunting permits to remove a “limited number of bears” because their population had rebounded since they were nearly hunted to extinction.

As of this last week, the state has condoned the hunt. One person interviewed said, “I would rather see the bears hunted instead of starving to death.”

Maybe the bears should issue permits to hunt the invaders on their land. I get it, but the cold way it was presented, front page, above the fold screaming headlines. I hope that when my grandchildren grown up there is something here besides a few trees and 14 red squirrels.